Oh that smell. Can't you smell that smell?

     Babies don't smell like rainbows.  They smell like sour milk...and feet...and poop.  Sure, toss them in a bath, lather them up with baby lotion and they smell like heaven.  Give it ten minutes.  They fart, they drool, they slobber milk down their pretty little faces and hide it deep in the wrinkles of their necks.
     So here I am, a brand new mom to my gorgeous 3 month old daughter Sophie, and we're at the pediatrician's office...again (more on that later).  They get me to strip her down so they can inspect every inch of her tiny little body.  As I'm waiting for the doctor to finish entering Sophie's information, I am frozen with embarrassment.  Hoping to save face, I scramble to remedy the situation before the doctor finds this and I am shamed by a woman I have met only twice.  Sophie has gunk in her neck wrinkles...and in her armpits.  Now, I clean this girl EVERY night and I clean her thoroughly (as thoroughly as one can wash a squirming, slippery, three month old) but here it is.  This toe jam smelling, sour milk odored GUNK!  And now it's on my fingers. Luckily I caught it before this woman finds out and accuses me of having a dirty baby.  Because that would be more embarrassing than smelling like grossness myself.  I leave the office with my head held high, if only to get my nose further away from the vomit inducing smell on my fingers.
     I still don't know what this stuff is but it's there, every night, taunting me.